The 4-Month Stage No One Warned Me About

My daughter Nora is just about at the end of being four months old, and I can honestly say this stage has been a complete whirlwind. As a first-time mum, every new phase feels like stepping into the unknown - just when you think you’ve figured things out, everything changes again.

And no one truly prepares you for the combination of the four-month sleep regression and teething.

It almost feels like a cruel joke played on already sleep-deprived parents. As if babies aren’t challenging enough when it comes to sleep in the first place, suddenly they hit this developmental leap where everything shifts. Add sore gums into the mix, and it’s a recipe for some very long days (and evenings).

Thankfully, Nora had started to become a generally good sleeper as she grew out of the newborn stage. We finally felt like we could breathe a little. The unpredictable newborn nights were easing, and she was settling into something that felt manageable.

We were so grateful for that season.

But as soon as she hit four months, things changed.

Her day naps became a struggle. She fights sleep like she has serious FOMO. It’s almost like she’s scared she’s going to miss something exciting - even if that “something” is just me folding washing or staring at my phone trying to stay awake.

She’ll yawn, rub her eyes, clearly be exhausted… and still refuse to go down without a fight. By the time she finally sleeps, she’s often overtired. And then the naps are short. Broken. Sometimes only 20 - 30 minutes.

It makes it really hard to get anything done. Not even big productive things - just basic things. Eating a proper meal. Showering without rushing. Sitting down for five uninterrupted minutes.

Night time isn’t necessarily easier.

By the evening, she is clearly tired. We dim the lights, lower stimulation, keep things calm and quiet. We try to create every possible signal that it’s time for sleep.

And yet, she still won’t settle until around 10pm.

That stretch between 7pm and 10pm can feel endless when you’re already drained from the day. You’re rocking, feeding, shushing, patting - wondering if you’re doing something wrong, even though deep down you know this is developmental.

It’s exhausting in a way that’s hard to explain unless you’re in it.

But here’s the part I keep reminding myself of:

Once Nora is down, she usually sleeps really well.

Most nights she sleeps through, or she might wake once for a feed and settle again. And I know how lucky we are for that. I don’t take it for granted.

So while the days feel long and bedtime feels like a marathon, the nights (for the most part) are kind to us.

And that balance is what’s carrying me through this stage.

Motherhood is humbling. Just when you feel confident, a new phase begins and you’re back to adjusting again. I’m learning that sleep isn’t linear. It isn’t something you “fix” once and for all. It evolves as they grow.

The four-month regression isn’t just about sleep being worse - it’s about their brains developing. Their sleep cycles are maturing. They’re becoming more aware of the world. Everything is changing for them.

And when I step back and remember that, it feels a little easier to hold space for the hard parts.

This season is tiring. It’s messy. It tests my patience some days.

But it’s also fleeting.

One day I’ll probably miss the weight of her in my arms while she fights sleep. Even the 10pm bedtimes. Even the contact naps that make it impossible to move.

For now, I’m just taking it one day (and one nap) at a time.

If you’re in the thick of the four-month stage too - you’re not alone 🤍